We’re Sleepy! Tournamental Takes a Little Break.

November 29, 2016

But don't freak out! We'll be back, hot and fresh, in 2017. So everybody just settle down, okay?

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EPISODE 124: “A Dazzling Array of Denzel Washingtons Displayed in Intricate yet Symmetrical Patterns”

November 7, 2016
THIS EPISODE'S CHARACTERS:

A Denzeleidoscope. The line from Tetris. A bag of nuclear submarines. All 10 seasons of The Big Bang Theory on VHS. Mario Farty. Whoopsy Jay Z’s. The Thunderbirds. Pope Jope Pope the Opal. Tony the hot dog guy. The cast of Duck Tails. Blaine Christie. A guy dressed up as Bambi. Cake-a-doodle-doo. Dorothy in a tank. Scooby Don’t. Rubber Baby Bungee Jumper.

THIS EPISODE'S BATTLE SCENARIOS:
  1. Who would win the following rhyming scenario?
  2. Who would you rather be scared by every night, à la Monsters Inc.?
  3. Whose Pandora’s Box would you rather unleash on the world?
  4. Who would win in a fight in a chest-deep pool of water?
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Episode 123: “Halloween Edition! Skele-Tom-Selleck Tryna Come Kill You”

October 31, 2016
THIS EPISODE’S CHARACTERS:

A group of tiny scary clowns. The bare Mitch project. Skele-Tom-Selleck. Ouija board. Polterscheiss. The Ghost Thrusters. A spooky carnival soothsayer. Centipede human. A chorus line of dancing skeletons. A fussy mom ghost. Feather Face. Did that suit of armor just move? Probably Captain Hook or something. Sinister Snake. Death on rollerblades. A babe in an ill-conceived sexy Bert costume.
 
THIS EPISODE’S BATTLE SCENARIOS:
  1. Who would you rather have on your team for the following Halloween party game?
  2. Whose zombie horde would sooner kill the three hosts?
  3. Who would make the sexier ghost?
  4. Who would you rather be possessed by while shopping for pants with your mom in Nordstrom?
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Episode 122: “Tournament of Champions V: Weekend and Bernie’s-ing Nicolas KGB”

October 24, 2016
THIS EPISODE'S CHARACTERS:

A Hapless Malaysia Airlines Public Relations Expert. The Biking. Nicolas KGB. The Cokey Monster. The Pubermench. Bear Bones Barry Bonds Bearing Bearer Bonds. The Flaming Guitarist from Mad Max. Twice-ems. Ganapati. Spider-Man Waist-Deep in Chocolate Pudding. Fugitive Monopoly Man. The Humour Tumor. Laura Ingalls Wildling. Bald Ego (Donald Trump as an eagle). The Truth Sandwich.

THIS EPISODE'S BATTLE SCENARIOS:
  1. Who would win in the following random Wikipedia scenario?
  2. Who would you rather Weekend at Bernie's?
  3. Who would you rather have living in your pubes?
  4. Whose furry road would you rather go Mad to Max on?

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Episode 121: “Tournament of the Inferior IV: Your Mom and the Dumpster Clown”

October 17, 2016

THIS EPISODE'S CHARACTERS:

Donald Trump shot in the face. Bare Bones Barry Bonds Baring Barer Bonds. Diggity Dango Babinski Ping Pong Face. A Nine Foot Pile of Beans. Optimus Pride. The Light Packer Heat Packing Punk Pecking Pelican. Leon Wetlegs Purcell. Overhead Bin Laden. The Church of Ladder Jay Snakes. Chocolate Wifi. The Cokey Monster. Gollum with the One Ring to Rule the Mall. Klaxon the baby with the Civil War Era Pistol. Mango Unchained. Dumpster Clown. The Hounds From the Hood.

THIS EPISODE'S BATTLE SCENARIOS:
1. Who would you rather have read you a bed time story and then bang your mom?
2. Who would you rather have as the stuffing in your bean bag chair?
3. Who would better impersonate a rocket ship?
4. Who would you rather have replace the sun?
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Episode 120: “Cheese Wizard”

October 3, 2016

THIS WEEK'S CHARACTERS:

M. Night Shamonalan. John Handcock. A Pod of Serial Killer Whales. Dr. Phantasmo. Hickory Dickory Cock. All the Gold Medalists. Crazy Horse. Diarrea Dog from Spooky Buddies. Cheese Wizard. Hulk Hogan Sculpted from Play Dough. Aunty Beans. Your Boss. Haz Matt. Nash glued into a gorilla suit. A cool little snowy owl. Tony Almeida. 

THIS WEEK'S BATTLE SCENARIOS:
1. Crazy Cosmo Sex Tips Part II.
2. Who would you rather have as your imaginary friend?
3. Who would win in a thumb war?
4. Whose hat would you rather be?
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Episode 118: “Craigslist Edition! Free Foot Rub Jason”

September 26, 2016
THIS EPISODE’S CHARACTERS: 

Missed connection: birdseed lady at No Frills. Ebony seeks ivory! Foot rub Jason. Missed connection: hot dog w/ cheese PNE brown guy. A pair of crystal pineapples. Unwanted animals. A 1940’s-era vintage rummoli game. 2 recorders. $4 Amish books. A $3,000 roller. A lifelike Siberian tiger replica. 185 winter cat huts. The super flowers of sisters. A melted Barbara Ann Scott doll. A $69,000 front-end loader. A $50,100 collection of ceremonial knives. 

THIS EPISODE’S BATTLE SCENARIOS:
  1. Which would you buy in order to perform the following service?
  2. Which would you rather give your sister as a wedding present?
  3. Which would you rather ride share with to work every day?
  4. Which would you rather be buried with, Egyptian pharaoh style?
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Episode 117: “Truckasaurus Rex”

September 19, 2016

THIS EPISODE'S CHARACTERS:

Truckasaurus Rex. The Pied Piper. No Neck Nash. Professor Pockets. Haley Atwell with a Shotgun. That Dumb Moriarty. Zombie Shamwow Guy. The Emotionator. Abe Froman. Blapso the Clown Gone Corporate. Darth Brooks. Bambie As Is. The Tedmonator. Horny Von Cornington. Baby Putin. Nickle with a Talking Beaver.

THIS EPISODE'S BATTLE SCENARIOS:
1. Who would you rather have as your implement of survival?
2. Who would you rather have as the back half of your horse costume?
3. Who would you rather have as your realtor?
4. Who would you rather dive in a bathysphere with?
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Episode 116: “Japanamental: Geisha Danny DeVito Gets Killed Pretty Quick”

September 12, 2016
THIS EPISODE’S CHARACTERS:

100 naked Japanese men. Kamikaze Fozzy. Human tie-foon. Lucky the monkey. Codzilla. The karate goat. Feliz-tsunami-da. Hiro Nakamura. Geisha Danny DeVito. G-shin. Goku. Anpanman. SLIM (Smart Lander for Investigating Moon). Kazan. Doraemon. 

THIS EPISODE’S BATTLE SCENARIOS:
  1. Who would win the following outrageous Japanese game show?
  2. Who would you rather have perform hara-kiri on you?
  3. Whose butt would you rather have to wipe (which is really a thing in sumo)?
  4. Who could wreak more havoc in a Godzilla-style rampage?
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Episode 115: “Same Old Crap But Huge”

September 6, 2016

This Episode's Characters:

KaFooLoo. Taffy Smothered Taylor Swift. The Lechador. Hansel and Klarp Klarp. Pennywise. You with a crows and Bose hose. The Lunchador. Boo Rad Bee. Yacko, Wacko, and Dot. John Wilkes Actual Booth. Lukador. Spl**ge McF*ck. Karen who is DTF. Straight Chimpin'. Jane Lynchador. Eight hammerhead sharks taped together. 

This Episode's Battle Scenarios:

1. Eight questions based on internet personality quizzes.
2. Who would you rather sail around the world on?
3. Which of these would be the worst companion at the movies?
4. Which character would you rather have emotionally berate you for the rest of your life?

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